The Lizard Master: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey Update!

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October 2, 2008 , Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey Update!

The Impaler shows exhibits A, B, C, and D that he is truly a sanguinary vampyre. A year and a half ago we interviewed an aspiring sanguinary vampyre who was running for the highest office in the world. Thanks to astute reader Lori, we now have an update on his election bid. Recently, the Impaler's Presidential site went down, and like everyone else, we assumed he suspended his campaign to concentrate on the current economic crisis. While that still may be true, his recent activities have landed him in jail.

According to News Channel 5:

"He (Starkey) is in jail, charged with threatening the president and a court official.

Sharkey faces felony charges in Minnesota and Indiana.

Neighbors said he showed up in Tennessee this summer. Since that time, he's left a lasting impression."

This is a George Bush set up hit job if I've ever seen of one. Threatening the President? Jonathon the Impaler? The Impaler doesn't threaten, he makes lists and then acts on them. So what he decided to set up camp in the middle of the woods in his best polling state of Tennessee! Didn't expect that move did you Mr. Bush? What did the locals say?

"Just average Joe type," said neighbor Don Kamtman about Sharkey. "You know, just nice, very polite. Never said a cuss word or anything."

Exactly. Everyone loved him, just your typical Joe who just wanted to set up a witch haven in your backyard. Who cares if they aren't bothering you? Then when poll numbers started to rise, suddenly he gets arrested and his house gets torched.

According to News Channel 9, Sharkey said, "Just because there are a few ignorant people who are full of hatred and want to oppress people doesn't mean a lot of people in Grundy County are bad." He's staying in the Marion County jail for safety reasons. Sheriff Bo Burnett says he has caused no problems but has been held in isolation for his own protection.

For his own protection? Yea right. Something sounds awfully fishy here. There's no way the McCain camp could afford to split votes with Sharkey. It's time to call a spade a spade. And who is this court official he also called out? I guess we'll find out when we get the next advance on the Impaling list. Our feeling is that there are going to be a lot of sorry people around Tennessee come November.

Comments

What scares me is that I'm way further up on the impailment list than all of the Tennessee people.

- Todd

maybe it was the KKK that torched his house

- Lori

Well... the good news is... with his filed down cuspids / K9 teeth, he certainly won't be propositioned by any of his peers in jail. Then again... you never know what people are into now-a-days...

- Todd

Trust me, I just live walking distance from his property, and I not worried.

- J

That's because he bit you, and you're a vampire now... so you're down with it.

- Todd

Yeah right. He wishes he could get that close to a real woman. That's why he goes after underage teens.

- J

He knows a grown woman wouldn't believe in that BS.

- J

seems to me he's the type who would go after anyone young, naive, and troubled enough to listen to him. kinda like Manson... scary thought.

- Lori

I bet he listens to techno!

- Todd

The man is trully a menace to society you guys think it's a game, But it's not take it from me. I am unfortunately his only still legal wife, who has been trying to get a divorce from that nut from hell for the last 10 years. I left him because he was abusing physically and mentally our own children and when, I found out I took the road and never looked back.

He is dangerous and especially to young girls the man is also a child molester out off his own mouth he has been having sex with under aged girls younger than his own daughter who is 17, she even called him a child molester. We constantly have to move when he fnd out where we live. The last time he showed up at our door and the next thing, I knew he had punched our daughter in the stomach who was 6 months pregnant and was trying to push her down the stairs. I tried to get the police to arrest him but, one show of his papers that he was running for president was all it took for them to walk away. And we had to stand there and watch this happen, sick to our stomachs. How the Election board would allow some nut job like him to file that he is running for president then allow him to use a down loaded document to that fact, so he can get away with what ever he has done is beyond me, I know that this is a free country but not checking the back ground of someone who plans to run for president is beyond what my mind can understand.

The man is trully crazy and it's only a matter of time before he kills someone and if, I was the secret service and FBI I would take his threats very seriously. A man who would dangle his 4 year old daughter out a window by one leg upside down while, I'm at work and tell her that if she tells me that he is beating them and physically abusing them that the next time he will push her out the window and then tell me she fell while playing with her little brother and that the boy push out by accident is sickening, and to prove his point cut the heads of her barbies in front of her. That's a sick SOB. That he is capable of carrying out his threat, I fully believe, That I fear right now if he gets ouof jail for the safety of my children and grandchildren and myself absolutely.

All I can do is pray that they do not let him out. That they lock him up and throw away the key. If anyone needs more info on this nut job you can email me at cjhyde100@yahoo.com

- Lourdes

His house that was supposely burnt was no more then a tree house(shack). I am glad he is out of tennessee and hopefully he wont be back.

- Tennessee